Rag Doll
by FireSign
Summary: Sara was surprised the day she woke up to realize she didn’t care anymore." Post ep of sorts to Xx [GS]


**Title**: Rag Doll 

**Summary**: Sara was surprised the day she woke up to realize she didn't care anymore. ~Post ep of sorts to Xx~  [GS]

**Pairings**: Hints of Sara/Grissom 

**Category**: Romance/Angst

**Author's Notes**: The song bits and title come from a wonderful Maroon 5 song.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own CBS, CSI or the lyrics to Maroon 5's "Rag Doll".

~... .....-*-... .....~

_The day has had its way with both of us  
And no, I've gone out of my way  
But I'm not free  
From this pain I'm reeling  
I was a fool to think some day you would come around  
But no, no, no I'm not thinking that way  
'Cause now I see  
  
You are not what you seem  
You are a mystery to me  
Sometimes I just wanna scream_

~*~

Sara was surprised the day she woke up to realize she didn't care anymore. She finally said to hell with it all, and she wasn't going back. 

It was finally too late.

            It was a relief, but it still hurt. As much as she wished it, she hadn't _stopped_ loving him. She just loved herself more. 

Her hope had been renewed after that …thing… with Dr. Lurie. There was no way Grissom could be affected like that and not act. Her heart had leapt –a scientific impossibility, but it had certainly felt that way- when he chose to work with her soon after.  

            It was an interesting case, one that had challenged her. In this environment, so familiar to both of them, she had given him every possible sign short of forcing herself on him.

            And she got nothing.

            Figuring he needed time to come to terms with his recent revelations, Sara dropped the flirting for the time being. She choose a civil manner, never rude but never friendly. When he had touched her, asked for her help in a case, she had been surprised. For that first second, she wanted to scream in happiness; she was a grown woman though and didn't. The second second brought her back to reality, and she had maintained her professional demeanor. His comment…it could have been an attempt at flirtation, but she did not respond. She was sick of flirting, of innuendos that may or may not mean something more. It was his turn to stick out his neck, lay down his cards.

            It would never happen.

            She knew that, and finally accepted it. She felt like a complete fool, hanging on for a glimmer of possibility. Whatever they had been, it was over. Done. Kaput. All that was left was to pick up the pieces.

            She cut her hair. 

That night, she worked a DB with Grissom and Warrick; he never mentioned her new 'do. She hadn't expected him to, but it would have been nice. She grinned that night, playfully flirting with almost everyone on the scene. Brass watched her closely; she didn't mind. 

            A few days after that she arrived early for work. She grabbed a coffee, and was sipping it when Grissom came in. He acknowledged her presence, even stopped to talk for a few minutes before sending her out. What appeared to be a failed prison break; Catherine and Nick were already on scene.

            She worked the case, pleasantly surprised when her bedtime reading was finally applicable. Hodges, the pretentious ass that he was, asked when she had become an insect expert. 

_Entomology text book.__ Grissom gave it to me last Christmas; when I can't sleep I read._

            Why had she answered? The guys had seemed more amused then upset by the perceived favouritism, but it was an awkward position to be put in. Which begged the question of why Grissom had given it to begin with, but she did not have the time or patience to think about it. 

            The case was solved, and she stopped by Grissom's office before leaving for what remained of the day. Noting a defeated slump to his shoulders, she asked, "Tough case?"

            "Yes," he had replied. His eyes were weary and resigned; she didn't press for details.

            "Well…Goodbye," she said.

            "See you tonight."

            She stood there for another minute, watching him look over papers. He glanced up again.

            "Is there something else?" he asked, a hint of amusement tinting his words. 

            "No," she said, tensing her muscles. She found she couldn't leave it at that though, and added warmly. "Your Christmas gift came in handy today. Thanks."

            "Glad you could use it," he replied, giving her a smile.

            This prompted a genuine, full fledged grin from her.

            "'Night Grissom."

            "Good night Sara."

Sara was surprised the day she woke up to realize she didn't care anymore. She finally said to hell with it all, and she wasn't going back. 

But that had never been her choice to make.

~*~

_How's your day been?  
Cause mine has taken strange and ugly turns  
But no, no, no I feel better today  
'Cause I'm off my knees  
  
You are not what you seem  
You are a mystery to me  
Sometimes I just wanna scream_

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

Any feedback is most welcome. Heck, if you want to flame, go right ahead. **:-)**


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